Robbie MacKay

How much pain, confusion and conflict in the world is caused by mis-understandings about love?

If you take the position that love is not the same thing is commitment, love doesn’t mean a relationship will work. Love is just love. It’s not conditional, until we make it conditional. What changes if you assume love is unconditional? What if you give you love unconditionally?

If your relationship breaks down, if things in your relationship are not working, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you anymore, or you don’t love each other anymore. They will always love you, they always have. You can still love them, you always have, you always will..

The relationship in its current from just doesn’t work.
It still hurts. It’s still hard.
Be sad, do resist it – but then move on.

This extends to friendships too… you don’t have to pretend you can make a relationship work and be friends with someone when you can’t. There is no shame in admitting you can’t deal with someone, it doesn’t make you a smaller person, in fact it makes you larger for admitting the truth.
Remember too, you don’t have to take your love away from someone if things don’t work. But you don’t have to continue the relationship the same way, just to prove you love them.

I’m not saying this is the truth. You don’t have believe it if you don’t like. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t worry about it.
It’s just a place to stand, a powerful place to stand if it works for you. What If you assume love is unconditional?

I wrote this over a year ago, after watching the morning news covering a terrorist attack in Mumbai

I don’t get it

Whatever their cause, whatever their goals…
How does killing or injuring other people become an appropriate or acceptable action?!

How do they justify that?

I can only think these people must be disconnected from reality. How do you not recognise that there is another person you’re hurting…

There is supposed to be a development stage for people as we grow up – at some point we develop empathy, we realise that when we do something it actually has affects on other people, or more to the point: we realise thats there IS actually another person over there. That like us they can feel things.

The world becomes less about us as we realise we are not the only one who can feel.

How do some people miss this? or forget it? and end up treating a whole section of the world population as people and another section as thought they’re not people?

It seems like this is tied to an illusion of seperation that we all have (to varying degrees): different countries, cities, families, businesses, teams, etc.

We talk about growing the economy of a country and think about the factors in those decisions based on what’s best for the country (or insert some other group / decision here).

We forget to account for the effects on other countries.

The borders are all artificial anyway – we’re all one people.
It is one planet.

Even seperating humans from animals and nature… life is life.. we should be looking after all of it.

I’m not saying anyone should give up everything for another person… that serves neither person. But sometimes we could give up something for the good of another. Not because we have some self interest, not as a compromise, but just because it helps someone else, because it pains us to see someone else suffer.

(and in the end, that other is us)

First up, Welcome to any new readers who’ve come over from Ben Young’s blog. As Ben said I try to provide people with insights and inspiration, and encourage people to live awesome lives and change the world. I don’t post to a schedule, but I have a bit of a redesign in the works after which I’ll post more regularly.

If you like what you find here you can subscribe to this blog.

If you haven’t checked out bwagy (or his book) you should. It should be required reading.

I’m slowly tweaking my blog, what I write and how I write it. So here’s an update about what I’m up to at the moment. I’ll keep writing these updates infrequently when theres something interesting to update.

Moving

The most major change at the moment, and the one thats occupying a lot of my attention: I’m leaving my amazing job at Greenpeace NZ and moving to the UK in June. Complete with a side trip to Penang, Malaysia.

One awesome thing (of many): I’ve been amazed how easy it was to save money.

I thought it would take ages, but when I got serious about it it was easy. I put all my money in once place… discovered I already had $2000 (who knew?). I’ve cut back expenses by staying with friends and my savings are now on track. I’ve bought plane tickets and I’ve got a bit to keep me going till I have work in the UK.

This is a good example of how just starting is often the hardest part. Once you’ve created momentum its easy.

Updates

If for some odd reason you’re actually interested in my daily life and awesomeness: you should follow me on twitter here or just subscribe to this blog.

Trying something else: This isn’t a great ideas post, or strategy post or anything where I’ve got it all sorted (..I never really do anyway).

Its been an interesting week. I keep finding myself in familiar but quite old spaces… that is – I haven’t been there for a while. This odd feeling of peace and calm, waiting to start an adventure, wanting to just ditch all caution and planning and take off.

It’s a feeling I used to get quite often. And it can be a bit frustrating when I can’t find an outlet for it.

The interesting thing to notice was how much of a different person I am now… similar old space but different me..

And this time theres some outlets for that feeling… not just yet and with a bit of control… but a direction all the same

Yesterdays post didn’t really sit right with me. I posted it anyway but now I’m calling bullshit.

Life doesn’t really have a purpose other than experience and what ever you say matters to you… This may be many things… and this may be similar to what I said yesterday – but one this it certainly isn’t is a job.

If you have the pleasure of turning your chosen passion or purpose into your day job – then I hope you’ll agree with me. Because now even your day job isn’t really a job at all!

A Zen Poet said, “A person who is a master in the art of living makes little distinction between their work and their play, their labor and their leisure, their mind and their body, their education and their recreation, their love and their religion. They hardly know which is which and simply pursue their vision of excellence and grace, whatever they do, leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing. To them they are always doing both.”

So go, live life and love life… but don’t treat whatever purpose you’ve chosen like a bad day job. It may not be easy but it doesnt have to be hard work…

Enjoy!

Update: Just found this post over at Mind the Beginner which seems relevant.

To see the good in everyone.
That is my job in life…

Why? Because I say so.. Because its what I’m drawn to do.

No matter the person there is something good there, something beautiful…
In their darkest moment when they do their worst to me… I will remember who they are.
I may get angry or upset.. but in the end I will try to see it from their side..
A friend used to refer to this as ‘Leadership creating leadership’ – seeking to inspire everyone and see everyone as a leader.

If some part of my life isn’t working its often because I’m failing to see the good in something or someone..

This isn’t to say you have to pick just one thing…I have a few of these. Many of the important things in my life fit into this framework. They’re not something someone told me to do, or something I have to do… they are just what I say my life is for. I’ve posted this quote before but I think it fits this post so here it is again:

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

George Bernard Shaw

What’s your job in life? What are you passionate about? What do you say you life is for?

Don’t think about what you can do or what you think is possible…
What do you want to do? What do you want your life to be about?

Now go!

Update: Be sure to check out the next post

I want to do something that matters.

I have little or no interest in writing software, designing embedded systems or doing anything that I know how to do just to make money or because I know how to do it.
I just want to do something that matters.

Yes I want to make money. I want to get paid.

But I want to be paid to make a difference… to do something that matters..